


Steadfast (Repost)

by Storyteller_of_the_Forest



Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe, Thor (Movies)
Genre: Aftermath of trauma, Angst, Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Family is family, Gen, Healing, Hope, Loki (Marvel) Needs a Hug, Loki (Marvel) is a Good Bro, No Slash, Post-Avengers: Endgame (Movie), Post-Avengers: Infinity War Part 1 (Movie), Quarantine, Sickness, Thor (Marvel) Needs a Hug, Thor (Marvel) is Not Stupid, Thor (Marvel) is a Good Bro, Vacation, aftermath of war
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-04-15
Updated: 2020-04-15
Packaged: 2021-03-02 04:27:41
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 16,750
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23659123
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Storyteller_of_the_Forest/pseuds/Storyteller_of_the_Forest
Summary: After the events in "Labyrinth of Shadows", Thor and Loki are taking a well deserved vacation. However, with the Odinsons, trouble finds them no matter where they go.When Thor takes ill during their trip, the brothers find themselves trapped in a different country without any way to get home. Loki must deal with his memories of the past while also taking care of his brother. Lots of talking and healing ensues.
Relationships: Loki & Thor (Marvel)
Comments: 24
Kudos: 44





	Steadfast (Repost)

**Author's Note:**

> Hello, dear readers.
> 
> This author's note may be a bit out of sorts. I'm still reeling from the pandemic shut down. I lost a lot of really amazing opportunities that would have helped me advance in my career (basically lost all these phenomenal opportunities overnight). My calendar went from full to completely empty and it has left me devastated. I just can't really process anything at the moment.
> 
> I admit that this isn't my best fic. I apologize for that. I just wanted to write something and post it because I know a lot of you are probably feeling similar to me: lost, scared, alone, etc. I know a lot of you like my stories and enjoy getting an alert from me. So I did my best to write something. It's a very long one-shot and I hope it's at least somewhat entertaining for you. It really helped me deal with a lot of the stress and anxiety I was feeling.
> 
> I know I'm late with comment responses to the 2nd chapter of "The Nightmare". I am so sorry about that. It's on my list of things to do. I'm going to respond, I just need a little more time to process everything (I was working out of the house up until a couple weeks ago and it did a number on me). I promise I will respond.
> 
> I wish I had something else to say. Please be gentle. This probably should have been another multi-chap fic, but I just didn't have the energy to figure out how to break it up into one. I do hope all of you enjoy it and it brings some happiness to you.
> 
> Again, really sorry for being a little out of it. Like the rest of the world, I'm also experiencing a strange kind of grief. I will do my best to respond to comments on this fic as well (I miss all of you). 
> 
> All of you, please, be well. Take this pandemic seriously. Wash your hands, stay inside as much as you can, stay healthy. Much love to all of you, my lovely readers <3
> 
> REGULAR WARNINGS
> 
> Haven't seen Infinity War and am not going to see Infinity War (the Russos are garbage human beings. I don't want to hear about them or their god awful trash).
> 
> I don't do romantic ships, especially not between family members. If you're into that kind of thing, go elsewhere (and don't tag my work with incest ships or comment about them in the comments, please).
> 
> Adoptees and non-traditional families deserve representation as much as anyone else. If you don't agree with this, you need to go elsewhere.
> 
> I'm still somewhat new to writing fics. So I apologize for any mistakes, mis-characterizations, formatting errors, or just any glaring errors. Please be gentle: writing fics is literally stress relief for me.
> 
> Kudos and comments are greatly appreciated. I don't own anything, obviously all characters and recognizable aspects belong to Marvel.
> 
> I hope you enjoy the story and thank you for reading :)

* * *

When his brother had first stepped into the role of leader of New Asgard, Loki had dreaded Thor experiencing a panic episode when he was away from home. He didn’t dread it enough to regularly accompany his brother on official trips, granted, but it was always a concern. Enough that he made sure to slip his phone number in Thor’s luggage and dropped hints to Brunnhilde that she should remind Thor’s protection detail to make sure he had Loki’s number.

While Thor experienced the occasional anxiety attack while away from New Asgard, they were rarely severe, and Thor was able to deal with them on his own for the most part.

As was often the case, it was what Loki wasn’t anticipating that proved to be a greater challenge.

Loki sighed and leaned back in his chair, rolling his neck. His green eyes wandered to his brother. Thor was lying in bed, asleep for the moment, his chest rising and falling with each labored breath. All the curtains had been drawn and the lights were off. The light from the sun was muted, soft, so as not to cause Thor discomfort. The temperature was uncomfortably warm for Loki, but the trickster had other matters on his mind.

He and Thor had been traveling the Americas, investigating ley lines. Loki could not conceal his delight. He loved investigating such things, feeling a surge of magic deep within the earth. It charged his own magic, making him feel energized and stronger. It was heavenly. Though the magic was much different than the sort in Asgard, it still reminded Loki a bit of their home. It brought back memories of Frigga and when she first began sharing her magic with him.

At first, Thor shared in his delight. He smiled widely as he watched his brother, following Loki to wherever he led them, listening intently to the trickster’s eager explanations of what they were investigating and what he had found. Even the few times they got lost and one incident where Loki led them directly into a large river. The god of thunder was just as happy as his brother.

Then, Thor started moving a little slower. Where he used to be right at Loki’s side, he now walked a few steps behind his brother. At first, Loki didn’t notice. He was too enthralled by the ley lines and Thor wasn’t that far behind him. The god of thunder’s smile gradually became a little less easy, a little more strained.

One morning, the Odinsons were sitting atop a large hill, watching the sun rise. Loki glanced over at his brother, pleased to see a look of contentment and peace on Thor’s face. However, the trickster was cursed with perceptiveness and he noticed little things that most others disregarded. Most people wouldn’t have noticed the tiny beads of sweat that had formed on Thor’s brow. They were in a rather warm climate, after all. Once he noticed the sweat on his brother’s brow, Loki noticed other things as well: how rigid Thor was, the way he grimaced slightly when he moved, the way he was clenching and unclenching his fist. By the time the sun had risen, Loki had deduced Thor was experiencing a great deal of pain and was already planning how to bring him back to the small cabin they were staying in.

“Where shall we go to today, brother?” Thor asked, his voice was a little hoarse, but it was still strong. There was enthusiasm in his tone and he was ready to follow the trickster to wherever Loki would lead him.

Loki stretched his arms over his head and then leaned back so that he was resting on his elbows. “Eh, I’m rather tired. We have been journeying so much these past few weeks. I think I would like to rest today. There is much I want to write about what we’ve learned concerning the ley lines on Midgard.”

Thor frowned, unable to keep the surprise off his face. “Are you certain? I thought you wanted to examine the line that ran close to the river just over—”

“Bah, the line isn’t going anywhere,” Loki replied, yawning. “I am tired and wish to spend a day inside for a change.”

The look of skepticism on Thor’s face was nothing short of hysterical and Loki had to bite his tongue not to laugh. His amusement was short-lived when Thor suddenly grimaced and raised a hand to his temple.

“Thor? Thor, what’s wrong?” Loki asked as he moved closer to his brother. Thor shook his head.

“Nothing, brother,” Thor replied.

“It’s a migraine, isn’t it?” Loki persisted and Thor opened his eye slightly. He looked surprised, to which Loki couldn’t help but grin faintly.

“You have been avoiding bright lighting and last night, you didn’t eat as much as you typically do. I figured something must be making you nauseous and since you hadn’t experienced any severe anxiety episodes, it meant more likely than not you were experiencing a migraine.”

Thor offered him a feeble smile. “Aye, it is a migraine. But do not let my burdens trouble you. Go investigate the ley lines and I shall rest in our cabin. It’s not the worst one I ever experienced, and I expect it will run its course by tomorrow.”

“Yes, well in case it doesn’t,” Loki said as he got to his feet, offering Thor a hand. “I would prefer to stay close by. As I mentioned earlier, the ley lines aren’t going anywhere.”

The god of thunder’s shoulders dropped slightly, though he also appeared relieved. He allowed his brother to help him to his feet and the two started back down the path that led to their cabin. Loki slowed his pace so that he matched Thor’s, walking alongside him.

His decision to accompany his brother back to their cabin proved to be a wise one. By the time they reached the door, Thor was leaning against Loki, relying on the trickster to keep him steady. That was unusual, though Thor occasionally experienced vertigo with his migraines. Loki would have disregarded it had he not noticed the way his brother was trembling. It was barely noticeable, but the trickster could feel it. Unease started to settle in the back of his mind as he helped his brother to the bedroom they had been sharing. It was a tiny dwelling they were staying in. They spent all day tracking ley lines, hiking and wandering the lands. By the time they returned to their lodgings, they were both so tired they would just flop onto their beds, asleep almost before their heads hit the pillows.

Loki was drawn out of his reminiscing when his brother whimpered quietly and turned onto his back, his face twisting into a grimace as a spasm went through his body. Thor grit his teeth and arched his neck, his body going rigid. Loki found his brother’s hand and gently held it, watching Thor closely.

The god of thunder sometimes experienced these spells, when he suffered agonizing pain for a short span of time. The pain originated in the scars left by the infinity stones and then radiated throughout his body.

The trickster sighed and leaned back in his chair. There were no accounts of the effects of wounds inflicted by the infinity gauntlet. The god of thunder was the first to survive the touch of all five stones. Loki had a sinking feeling Thanos was aware of that. He’d killed Thor, but he’d done so in such a way that in the unlikely event Thor somehow survived or was revived, he would still suffer.

In the years since his return, Thor and Loki had learned how to manage Thor’s discomfort. There were some Midgardian painkillers that worked incredibly well. Banner had been a great help in figuring out the proper dosages to alleviate the pain. Where in the beginning, Thor relied heavily on the help of others to see him through the worst of such spells, now he could often take care of it on his own. Such episodes of pain were rare, and Loki had almost forgotten entirely about them.

Hearing a familiar crackle, Loki immediately let go of his brother’s hand and took a few steps back. Thor let out a cry and opened one hand, a bolt of lightning shooting out from his palm and striking the wall across the room. Before a fire could spread, Loki swiftly raised his hand, releasing a blast of Jotun frost, swiftly extinguishing the flames. The wall was a little singed, but the trickster didn’t care much about property damage.

“L-Loki.”

Loki looked back to Thor, grinning easily. “At last you awaken.”

Thor grimaced. “Hurts.”

He curled up when he was overtaken by a coughing fit. Loki waited patiently for it to pass.

“Yes, I’m afraid you’re experiencing one of your spells,” Loki told him, playing with his own fingers. He was debating how much to tell his brother about the past week or so. What had started out as a migraine evolved into the debilitating pain Thor was currently experiencing.

“You look scared.”

Loki shook his head, offering his brother a confident grin. “Never.”

Thor sucked in his breath and turned his face into the pillow, his face twisting in a grimace of pain. Loki once again reached forward and placed his hand over Thor’s. After a moment, Thor turned his hand and gripped his brother’s.

“Is the pain medication Dr. Banner prescribed nearby?” Thor asked. Loki dropped his gaze, fear momentarily clouding his mind. His brother never asked for pain medication. He often had to be cajoled into taking anything for pain. There were days when his weaker arm was so cramped up that Thor could barely use it and even then, the god of thunder would stubbornly refuse to take a pill. If he were asking for it, willingly asking for it, it meant the pain was even greater than Loki had thought.

“Loki?”

The dark-haired god looked up, studying his brother for a moment. Thor’s face was flushed with fever. His breath still rattled in his chest. It was obvious the god of thunder was very ill, but that should not have been possible.

“Thor, there is something you should know,” Loki began, glancing up and meeting his brother’s eye. “Do you remember the newscasts we were starting to hear, just before you developed a migraine?”

“The ones about that virus, which you said were Midgardians overreacting and not worth worrying about?” Thor asked dryly, groaning and running a hand over his face. “Gods, Loki. Am I going to be angry?”

A half-smirk danced briefly over Loki’s lips. “I would have thought you would be pleased to be right. Partly.”

Thor turned his eye back to his brother and his expression was not amused.

“You developed the migraine a little more than a week ago and when the symptoms started to subside, you began experiencing pain,” Loki explained. “We didn’t take many pills, since you haven’t experienced a migraine or a pain spell in quite some time. And we assumed we’d be able to get more if we ran out.

“As you were suffering from the symptoms of the migraine, the virus started spreading. Midgardians, showing a remarkable common sense for mortals, decided to quarantine themselves in their homes. They hope to prevent the further spread of this illness. Apparently, they have at last learned a lesson from enduring numerous plagues.

“Unfortunately, mortals are still panicky creatures, especially in a town as small as this. I hadn’t been paying much attention to their news, dreadfully dull as it is. You were mostly sleeping as you tend to do during these spells. I noticed that you were out of your pain medication yesterday and went into town to refill it. It’s quite a trek, but easy enough. When I reached town, I found it almost empty. The mortals have boarded themselves up in the hopes of waiting out this illness. Unfortunately, the local pharmacy is unable to fill your prescription. It’s a very small shop and it receives very little medicine. The strongest painkiller they can obtain is one that we have tried in the past, which proved useless. It placed an order for your prescription, but it will likely be days before it gets here.

“The shops were also mostly bare, but I managed to get a decent amount of food and supplies. Enough to hold us over for a while.”

Thor grimaced in pain and turned on his side, tears starting to escape from beneath his eyelid. Loki waited patiently. After a moment, Thor slowly allowed his eye to open.

“Have you contacted Banner? Perhaps he can offer some assistance,” Thor suggested. Loki leaned back, knowing his brother was not going to react well to the next bit of news.

“I have,” Loki cleared his throat. “Unfortunately, this virus has already crossed the ocean. Our people have been spared, obviously, but the few humans who live in New Asgard are afflicted.”

“All of them?” Thor asked softly, horror apparent in his pained voice. Loki shook his head.

“No, we put measures in place to protect them. Ordered them to remain in their home and limit their contact with others,” Loki replied. “Only a small number are afflicted, mostly the ones who work in the hospital.

“Our healers are caring for them admirably and most are expected to make a full recovery. In fact, other countries are consulting our healers about treating this virus,” Loki reported. “New Asgard is leading the way in combating this illness.”

“Dr. Banner is human and he works in the hospital,” Thor whispered, looking to his brother, alarmed. “Loki, is Dr. Banner ill?”

Loki shifted uncomfortably in his seat, considering his words. “Before I answer, you need to be—Thor, no!”

Thor started pushing himself up and Loki immediately grasped his shoulders, forcing him to remain in bed.

“Brother, listen to me,” Loki ordered.

“No, Loki, our friend is ill! We must return home at once!” Thor stated, his tone frantic.

“And do what?” Loki pointed out. “What possible good could we do there? Neither you nor I is a healer. Banner is in good hands. Eir is personally seeing to him.”

“He’s my friend and one of my shieldbrothers,” Thor continued stubbornly. “He has always been there for me.”

“I know, Thor.”

“So you understand why we must return home,” Thor stated.

“Brother, you can barely move without experiencing debilitating pain. You cannot stand without losing consciousness,” Loki told him and Thor glared at him.

“Then carry me to the damn aircraft. We’re going home, Loki.”

“We can’t,” Loki told him. Had he not been so concerned about his friend, Thor would have heard the edge in his brother’s voice and recognized it as a sign that Loki was running out of patience.

“Why not?”

“Because all flights are grounded!” Loki snapped and Thor stared at him, stunned. Loki sat back and ran a hand over his face.

“We can’t leave because we have no way to leave. Travel has been severely restricted. There are no international flights,” Loki told him, rubbing his hands together. “Brother, I have tried. You have slept much and while you slept, I have looked into every conceivable way to get us home. We are, for all intents and purposes, trapped.”

Thor slumped back in the bed, the gravity of the situation sinking in. A sudden sharp pain raced through his muscles and Thor grunted, clutching tightly at the sheets. It felt like his lightning was burning through his body. It was agonizing.

“Thor?”

“I’m okay,” Thor said. “I’ll be okay.”

There was a stabbing pain in his midsection and Thor let out a cry, turning onto his side. He felt Loki’s cool hand rest on his shoulder, even as he started shivering.

“This isn’t like my other pain spells,” Thor mumbled, gritting his teeth and turning his face to the pillow. “Loki, something is wrong.”

“I know,” Loki replied. “You are exhibiting symptoms of the virus.”

“But…that’s not possible,” Thor said. “That shouldn’t be possible.”

“I do not know how to explain it, brother,” Loki said.

Thor swallowed and took a moment to gather himself.

“Do we have enough food and supplies?” Thor asked softly.

“Yes, I have made sure to keep both,” Loki told him. Thor nodded, gripping Loki’s hand. Norns, he hurt. Everything hurt. The pain was so intense, it overwhelmed him. The wounds from the infinity stones were throbbing and it felt like he was getting impaled again.

“Can we…?” Thor paused when his vision momentarily went white. “Can we communicate with home?”

“For the most part,” Loki replied. “Our connection is a little iffy, but we should be able to get in touch with Brunnhilde and Heimdell.”

Thor’s brow furrowed, an idea starting to form in his mind. It was one he feared doing, but one he felt obligated to enact. He turned his attention to his brother.

“Loki, your teleportation ability, how strong is it?” Thor asked. Loki looked at him suspiciously.

“Not very,” he answered, reluctantly. “I can’t teleport across an ocean, if that’s what you’re considering.”

“Are there still ships? Transporting freight?” Thor asked. Loki crossed his arms over his chest.

“I believe so. Shipping is greatly reduced, but it is still happening.”

“Could you possibly get to where ships dock and teleport onto one?” Thor asked. Loki stared at him as though he’d spontaneously grown another eye.

“You must be joking.”

“Loki, one of us needs to get back to New Asgard. This is a time of crisis. Our people need us.”

Loki shook his head, dropping his face into his hand. “Gods, you’re not joking.”

“Surely you can do this. Nothing has been able to hold you for very long,” Thor insisted. “You must return home and take care of our people.”

“And what about you?”

“I’ll be fine. I will join you as soon—”

“Fine? You’ll be fine? Thor, you can’t even stand up without assistance. You’re experiencing symptoms of a virus and we have no idea how much worse they will get,” Loki stated, exasperated.

“These spells never last for very long and I doubt some Midgardian ailment can harm me. I shall be back to my old self in a few days and then I shall call the Bifrost,” Thor replied. As if on cue, the pain flared back up and Thor slumped back with a grunt. The sound of crackling followed by a brief rush of cold drew his attention across the room. He noticed the wall was heavily singed and there was evidence of frost. He glanced over to his brother, watching as pale flesh once again replaced blue.

“And what about your lightning? What if you burn down this dwelling?” Loki pointed out.

“You can bind my lightning, temporarily.”

Loki let out a bark of a laugh. “You want me to significantly weaken you? While you’re ill? Thor, do you not see how this is madness? You could die if I do that and likely would. Norns, why do I even have to explain this to you?”

“Loki, please. We must think of our people.”

“You will be fine in a few days, once the worst of this has passed. Then we can figure out how we can both return home together.”

Thor scowled, pain getting the better of him. “As leader of New Asgard, I order you to return home.”

Loki snorted as he stood from his chair. “All right, brother. I shall do so.”

Thor clenched his eye shut and slumped back. “Loki—”

“I’m not leaving, Thor. Nothing you say or do or command is going to make me do differently,” Loki stated. “I am going to make some lunch. I will bring it up to you shortly.”

Loki had his hand on the doorknob when Thor’s soft voice stopped him. “I remember there was a time not so long ago when you did whatever you could to escape standing at my side, fighting beside me.”

The trickster sighed. “Things change, as do I. Frequently. Rest, brother. I shall return shortly.”

_*_

Later that night, a gentle rainstorm had started outside. It was stark contrast to inside the cabin, where Loki was once again watching his brother toss and turn. The agonizing pain was tormenting him, making it impossible for him to sleep. Loki was unsure how aware Thor really was, since the god of thunder seemed unable to respond. He had thrashed about all day, the pain reaching unbearable levels.

Loki tapped his thumbs against his lips, his mind racing. His brother needed rest if he was to recover from this state. Hearing crackling, Loki looked to his brother’s arm and noticed lightning racing up his arm. He reached out a hand, gently laying it upon Thor’s arm, wincing when he received a mild shock.

Thor whimpered and curled up tightly, the rigidness in his form speaking to the levels of pain he was experiencing. A bolt of lightning split the sky, bathing the room in harsh bone white light. Loki stood from his chair and strode across the room, drawing the large heavy curtains shut.

Hearing rustling, Loki twisted and sighed. Thor was scratching at the scars on his chest, irritating them more than they already were. Loki swiftly moved to the bed, gracefully sitting upon it and pulling Thor’s hands away from the wounds.

“Now, now, none of that,” Loki said to his brother. “You’ll give yourself an infection and that will make everything worse.”

“Burns,” Thor panted, tears running down his cheeks. “It burns. And it itches.”

Loki opened his mouth to respond but closed it, an idea scratching at his mind. He glanced to Thor’s chest, wondering…

“Brother, I had a thought, but investigating it might cause you even more discomfort,” Loki stated.

“It can’t be any worse than it already is,” Thor groaned. _Oh trust me, it can,_ Loki thought as he ran a hand over his mouth.

“No, likely not,” Loki lied. He held his hand just over Thor’s chest, closing his eyes. He could sense Thor’s strong spirit, hot like a burning inferno and strong as ever. It touched Loki’s magic, responding to it with the same ridiculous boisterousness as the one it belonged to. Loki almost smiled at the familiarity. It was warmth and love and kindness, all the traits Thor had always carried with him.

A little deeper and interwoven with that spirit was the essence of his lightning. It was a part of Thor, though at the moment, it was more chaotic and out of control. Loki could feel the hairs on his arms raise at the static charge in the air. That lightning was just as strong as the spirit, for it was a part of it. It was just as powerful as Loki’s own magic (though he would never tell his brother that).

For a while, Loki sat still, observing these two magics that were a part of his brother. He had sensed them many a time and recognized them, as they did he.

Just when Loki was about to give up and pull back, he sensed something different. Something he didn’t recognize…something that didn’t belong.

It was so tiny and insignificant Loki was certain he must have missed it. He might have sensed it but just disregarded it due to how small it was. A tiny speck among the brightness. It took the trickster a long time to locate it in his brother’s spirit. He found himself retracing his steps and looking closer, scouring every inch of Thor’s essence for what he was certain was a parasite.

At last he saw it, burrowed just beneath the lightning, hidden by its power and light. It looked like a speck of dust, something that most would overlook. It glistened with a strange sheen, bright orange in color. Something about it was so familiar…

Loki swallowed and reached out with his seidr, tapping the strange shape. Almost instantly, it split into six different small specks, dividing again and then once more. Some had the same orange sheen, some had a red sheen, others had a purple one, and still others had a green one. Then, Loki saw a familiar pulsing glowing blue. It taunted him, stirring up memories he would have preferred to forget.

An image of a cruel purple face flashed in Loki’s mind, a tightening around his throat, and he suddenly felt a punch to his chest, throwing him out of the trance he’d entered. Loki let out a yelp and scrambled backwards, away from the frightening sensations, his own chest heaving as he tried to process what he had just experienced.

“Loki? Are you—?”

Not giving his brother a chance to finish his question, Loki pushed himself off the bed and hurried to the cramped bathroom across the small hall, closing the door behind him. He ignored his brother calling after him as he turned on the hot water tap, waiting until the water was practically steaming. Grabbing a bar of soap, Loki started scrubbing at his hands. He scrubbed as hard as he could, trying to scrub away what he had seen. The memories that had been stirred up. He kept roughly scrubbing and calming his mind, breathing in deeply. He was fine, everything was fine.

After a moment, he turned off the tap, gripping the sides of the sink and leaning forward. Loki shut his eyes and drew in a deep, steady breath. He slowly let it out, allowing the tension in his body to dissipate. Glancing up to the mirror, which was obscured from the steam, Loki stared at his blurry reflection. _Well that was unpleasant._

Manifesting a dagger, Loki straightened up and squared his shoulders. He could fix this. It was easy. He knew exactly what to do.

He opened the door and strode back into the small bedroom. Thor was still in bed and his eyes were glassy with pain. His expression reflected concern, though he relaxed a little when Loki stepped out of the washroom. Then his eye landed on the knife.

“Loki, what is it? What’s the matter?” he asked.

“Nothing. Well, nothing that can’t be fixed,” Loki answered confidently as he moved to the bedside. “I’m afraid this will likely hurt. Do try to hold still.”

“What will hurt? What are you going to do?”

“I’m going to have to cut you a little,” Loki replied as though it were obvious. Thor’s eye widened and he grabbed a hold of Loki’s wrist.

“Wait, wait, why do you have to cut me? Loki?” Thor squeezed his wrist a little when Loki tried to pull away. “Brother, talk to me.”

Loki scowled. “You don’t trust me?”

“I do, Loki, you know I do. I just want you to explain what you’re doing and why,” Thor replied calmly. He let out a grunt of pain and slumped back in the bed, though he still held tightly to Loki’s wrist.

“Because that’s how to solve this problem. Do you enjoy being in pain, Thor?” Loki snapped, dropping his dagger into his free hand. Thor weakly scooted away from him.

“You said it yourself, brother. Neither you nor I is a healer. Please, Loki, please tell me what happened? What unnerved you so?”

“Nothing! Now hold still!”

Loki jumped onto the bed and tackled his brother, who yelped in pain. They struggled briefly, with Loki easily getting the upper hand. He held his brother’s hands in place with one hand and lowered his dagger to where the infinity scars were, bright red and obviously causing the strong god of thunder a great deal of discomfort.

_HA! You won’t defeat me this time, monster,_ Loki thought triumphantly as he spun his dagger, prepared to end this nightmare once and for all.

“Loki, will this help me or will it help you?”

Thor’s soft calm question took Loki off guard and the trickster looked at his brother, confused. Thor was watching him and it wasn’t fear on his face, not for himself anyway. He was concerned and worried about his brother, about whatever had brought about this impulsiveness in Loki.

“I—”

“Loki, please, if something disturbed you…please tell me. Tell me what you saw,” Thor urged. He wasn’t struggling against the trickster anymore. He wasn’t trying to get away. Loki could feel him trembling in pain, but he wasn’t fighting against Loki. Looking to the dagger he held, the trickster swallowed. He closed his eyes and shook his head, forcing himself to calm down and think.

No, no this wasn’t the right course of action. Thor was much too weak at the moment. They didn’t have access to proper sterilization. Besides, he wasn’t entirely sure he would know exactly what to do and how to do it. Loki might solve one problem, but he would cause many more. It might take care of Loki’s own nervousness and unease, but it would do a great deal of harm to Thor, thus defeating the whole purpose. _It would allow Thanos to achieve a victory even in death._ The thought of that repulsed the trickster.

Loki sighed and put the dagger back in a hidden pocket, releasing his brother and sitting cross legged on the bed. He slowly let out his breath and slumped back against the headboard. Running a hand over his face, Loki tried to ignore the lingering nervousness from encountering the infinity stones again. Even though they weren’t near as powerful or destructive, they still brought back memories of the time Loki had gambled and then lost everything. The vivid memory of Thor’s heart slowing as he died in Loki’s arms, with the dark-haired god completely powerless to stop it, briefly came to mind and Loki inwardly shuddered.

The feeling of a warm hand on his made the trickster to jump a little. He looked to his brother, who still looked as though he were suffering.

“Talk to me,” Thor urged softly. Loki glanced down at Thor’s hand and then to his brother’s face again, unsure how to respond. Loki hadn’t been the only one to lose everything in the war of the gauntlet. His brother still carried wounds from that war and Loki had just discovered a new one. One they could hopefully heal once they returned home.

The dark-haired god reached over and brushed his hand against Thor’s chest, lightly. Now that he knew what was there, Loki could sense the power of the stones, greatly weakened and barely perceptible but still there. Thor grimaced in pain and sucked in his breath.

“When Thanos struck you with the gauntlet, he struck hard. It is near impossible to break the bones of a god, yet he not only broke yours, he shattered a few,” Loki explained calmly. “He struck you hard enough that some miniscule fragments of the stones came off and embedded in your flesh and muscle. There could be some in your bones, but I think it unlikely. The pain you experience is always in your muscles or so you’ve indicated in the past. Does the pain go deeper?”

Thor appeared to think for a moment, grimacing, then shook his head. “No, my bones do not pain me.”

“It is mostly harmless, although I imagine it does not feel like it. The stones intensify your pain, likely make it last longer. I suspect their effects have attacked your immune system to some extent, which would explain why you’re experiencing symptoms of the virus,” Loki continued, placing a cool hand on Thor’s brow. “You have been running a fever since you developed the migraine days ago. It has spiked a couple times. You have also been coughing fairly regularly and at times, it sounds like you have a little trouble breathing.”

Thor let out a cry and curled up again. “But…but how could we not have known? After all this time?”

Loki shrugged. “You have been through much, during the war and after. You sustained a number of wounds that left lasting effects. The fragments of the stones do not cause symptoms, merely intensify them. And whatever embedded in your flesh and muscle is likely very small. It would have been easily missed when you were first brought back, due to the state you were in, and I highly doubt those who brought you back were looking very close for such things. What power emanates from the fragments is greatly diminished and weak, so faint that even I missed it. I know it feels agonizing, but the truth is, you are not in any immediate danger.”

Leaning against the headboard again, Loki tapped his thumbs together and closed his eyes.

“I thought it would help to remove whatever fragments remain, but that will likely be a very long process and we don’t have anywhere near enough supplies. It can wait until we return home.”

Thor whimpered and clutched the bed sheets tightly, breathing in sharply through his nose. After a moment, he relaxed a little. Loki remained silent, allowing his eyes to open again and staring at the shadows coating the room. He didn’t like when Thor was in pain or experiencing a flashback. Such times reminded Loki that his brother could be taken from him again. Thanos had shown him that even his strong brother could be harmed, tortured, killed. Broken.

Loki could feel his brother looking up at him, but pretended not to notice. He didn’t want to share his thoughts or feelings. Sharing burdens was not something Loki found appealing nor easily done.

“I’m sorry,” Thor whispered. Loki furrowed his brow and looked over at the god of thunder, confused. Thor briefly closed his eye, gritting his teeth as he was struck by another wave of pain.

“I know…I know you still carry wounds from that war and likely from the events leading up to it. You do not have to tell me what you saw if it makes you uncomfortable, but I shall listen if you wish to speak of it. I know whatever it was pained you and I do not enjoy seeing you hurting, Loki.”

Loki shook his head. “It’s fine, Thor. It was just an unpleasant memory. Nothing I cannot handle.”

Seeing the dejected look on his brother’s face, Loki slumped a bit. _Oh fine._

“I will let you know if it’s anything you can help me with, brother, I promise. I shall speak to you about it if it troubles me further.”

Thor smiled faintly, obviously relieved to hear such a promise. He swallowed and shuddered, closing his eyes. It was apparent he was still experiencing a great deal of pain.

The trickster yawned, feeling very tired. He didn’t even want to know the time, not that it mattered. They couldn’t go anywhere, and Thor would likely sleep all day tomorrow anyway. Snapping his fingers, Loki switched the lights off with his magic. He could hear Thor shifting around in the darkness.

“Will you be able to sleep tonight?” Loki asked as he laid down in the bed. Thor could barely nod. “If the pain becomes too great, wake me. I shall be able to figure something out.”

Thor grunted in a way that might have been acknowledgment, and Loki chose to take it that way. He pulled the covers up to his shoulder. He could feel tremors shaking his hand. Clenching and unclenching his fist a couple times, Loki shook his hand and buried it under the pillow. He was a little on edge, but ignored the feeling. Closing his eyes, Loki tried to force himself to sleep.

A large arm gently wrapped around him, holding him close. Loki’s eyes opened briefly and he glanced over his shoulder at his brother, who had all but wrapped his large form protectively around the trickster. Loki could sense the pain radiating off Thor, could practically feel it, and it worried him. Yet he also felt oddly safe, a strange feeling that he was still getting used to even after all these years.

Closing his eyes, Loki allowed his mind to drift back to a time when his brother had been in a different kind of pain. One that for a time, Loki feared they would never find the answer to.

**

Loki watched as Banner gently wrapped his wrist, focused solely on the task. The trickster was surprised the man hiding the monster wasn’t prying into the origins of his injury. Midgardians did so like to fret, and Loki had firsthand experience with Banner’s tendency to pry.

“Are you going to tell me how this happened?” Banner asked as he grabbed some tape.

“I’m afraid I had a rare moment of clumsiness while working around the house,” Loki answered, grinning his usual wide charming grin. “I took a rather impressive fall.”

“Ah. Must have been a hell of a fall. Your wrist was fractured in two places,” Banner said, skepticism clear in his tone. “That why your natural healing abilities didn’t kick in?”

Loki nodded. Banner’s eyes traveled briefly up his arms.

“Did your impressive fall take place near glass? Not sure where else those lacerations on your arms could have come from.”

Loki grimaced in pain as Banner continued wrapping his wrist. He’d hoped the doctor wouldn’t notice those wounds. They weren’t serious, nothing his seidr couldn’t take care of, unlike his wrist.

“Yes, I fell into an old mirror. I’ve been getting rid of some items we do not need, in the hopes of freeing up a little space,” Loki replied. “The house is a bit of a mess at the moment, hence my stumbling.”

Banner appeared impressed, though still far from convinced. “I’m surprised Thor didn’t come with you.”

“He would have, but I told him not to. I don’t need him hovering over me,” Loki lied easily, grimacing at the ache in his wrist. The bones had been displaced, which meant he couldn’t just rely on his seidr. Loki had to seek medical attention and that annoyed him to no end.

“How is your brother, by the way?”

Loki swallowed, his carefree demeanor slipping for a split second. Just before dawn, Thor had awoken in a state of panic after yet another horrific nightmare. Awoken by his brother’s screams, Loki had tried to embrace the god of thunder in the hopes of calming him. Thor had fought against him and wound up throwing him across the space. Loki had collided with a mirror, shattering the damn thing, and that was how he’d injured his wrist. Eventually, he’d managed to calm Thor and ignored his injuries. Until he couldn’t anymore.

He hadn’t been able to move his wrist or hand when he’d left the house. Realizing he wouldn’t be able to hide the injury from his brother and fearing it would send Thor into another panic episode, Loki decided to seek medical attention. After calling Brunnhilde, he’d spoken to Thor, telling him that he needed to run some errands. Thor was worn out from the second panic episode he’d experienced that day, though he was suspicious. It had taken Loki’s considerable skills to hide his injury from his brother (especially when Thor had embraced him fiercely as he was leaving). The Valkyrie had agreed to stay with Thor, but Loki wanted to get home as soon as possible. The longer he was away, the more likely Thor was to experience panic. And Loki didn’t want anyone to see Thor in such a vulnerable state. Glancing up at the clock, the trickster noticed he’d been gone over two hours.

“He’s doing well, thank you for asking. The exhaustion has passed, and Thor is back to his old annoyingly optimistic and sentimental self,” Loki replied. “He’ll be taking up the duties of leadership in the next few days, a week at most. I just need to iron out a few last details, make sure he’s up to speed on all matters.”

At that, Banner looked up and Loki waited patiently for his response. So many of his brother’s friends called the house every day, wishing to speak with Thor. Since the god of thunder was often unable to take such calls and had asked Loki not to tell anyone about the state he was in, the trickster had become rather adept at thinking up alibis for Thor’s absence. The doctor turned his attention back to the trickster’s injured wrist. Banner finished wrapping it and sat back.

“Wiggle your fingers for me,” he instructed, and Loki complied. He was surprised that the movement no longer caused him discomfort. When he’d arrived, Loki hadn’t been able to move his fingers and even the slightest touch resulted in blinding pain.

“Any discomfort?” Banner asked. Loki shook his head.

“None. You are an adequate healer, Bruce. For a Midgardian, anyway,” Loki stated as he stood up. Banner laughed softly.

“High praise,” he said. Loki straightened his sleeve, rebuttoning it.

“Loki,” Bruce said, drawing Loki’s attention back to him. “How is Thor really?”

“I told you—”

“Yeah, I know what you told me, but I also know that I haven’t seen my friend since he returned. You and I both know your brother. The guy is the definition of an extrovert.”

“Your point?”

“Thor…he’s been through a lot. Surely there are some lingering effects. Hell, even I have trouble sleeping some nights.”

“Well, you are mortal and have only lived a handful of years compared to Thor. My brother has seen and experienced much. He has survived more than you can fathom,” Loki stated. “We are gods, after all.”

“Loki, Thor lost you. He was so sure you had been killed, and it broke him. Then he died in battle, brutally by Thanos’ hand. God or no, that’s not something you can just bounce back from,” Banner explained patiently.

“Well, I didn’t die and Thor knows that. He had a few nightmares in the beginning, but he dealt with them,” Loki stated, wanting very much to leave. “If you’ll excuse me.”

“Strange sent over his files,” Banner said softly. Loki froze, his eyes widening. The man hiding the monster suddenly looked rather uncomfortable and shifted his weight.

“I, um, I spoke with him and some of the healers in Wakanda who cared for Thor after Strange, Fury, and Hill rescued him from the black site. I wanted to know if there might be any lingering effects I should look out for,” Banner explained. Loki felt unease start to creep up on him. Thor hadn’t yet spoken to him of what he had experienced when he’d been brought back against his will. The few times Loki attempted to ask him, a look of shame would cross Thor’s face and he would be unable to meet his brother’s gaze.

Loki had stopped asking, but he hadn’t stopped trying to figure out what had happened. He wanted to know. He needed to know. If he was to help his brother, Loki had to know what had happened.

“I know you spoke with Fury and Hill, about what happened to Thor when he was brought back,” Banner continued, pulling Loki out of his thoughts. “Neither of them are doctors, they probably didn’t know a lot of what was done to your brother. Even after looking through those files, I only have a vague idea.”

“But you have some idea of what he endured,” Loki stated. “Tell me.”

“Loki, I can’t do that.”

Rage overcame Loki and he grabbed Banner by his neck, shoving him backwards until he hit a wall. Squeezing his throat just tight enough to cause him a little difficulty breathing, Loki put his face close to the man’s.

“Listen, human. I don’t give a damn about your laws or your code. Thor is my brother and you will tell me what you know,” Loki snarled from behind grit teeth.

Banner was surprisingly calm. He watched Loki patiently.

“If Thor really is completely fine, why do you need to know what’s in that file?” Banner pointed out. “Surely it doesn’t matter.”

Annoyance crept into Loki’s mind, but he released Banner and took a step back, taking a moment to regain his composure. Smoothing his shirt and tie, he let out a soft chuckle. _I don’t need him to tell me. I’ll just hack into their system later. Humans are so fond of digital records._

“Of course you’re right. I was more interested in case Thor wished to seek legal counsel, should he want to press charges against his tormentors. That’s how you do things on this planet, if I recall correctly,” Loki said smoothly. Banner stared at him, obviously not buying his act.

“Riiight,” he said slowly.

“Are we finished? As much as I enjoy our little interactions, I do have a country to run,” Loki stated with his trademark charming grin. _And a brother to take care of,_ he thought, his smile faltering ever so slightly.

Banner tapped the file he held against his palm, studying Loki for a moment. He flipped open the file and pulled out a dark blue brochure, holding it out to the trickster.

“I know you like to read. Will you do me a favor and at least read that?” Banner asked. Loki frowned and took the brochure from him, looking at it.

“It’s about a condition we call PTSD,” Banner explained. “It’s just general information, but there are also some links they recommend where you can find more information.”

Loki scoffed. Midgardians were so quaint. Tucking the brochure into an inner pocket, Loki stuck his hands in his pockets and looked to the doctor expectantly.

“Is that all?” he asked. Banner nodded.

“Yeah, just tell Thor I said hello and I hope he’s doing well. You know, I’m here if either of you ever needs to talk or just get out of the house for a bit,” Banner said.

“I shall keep that in mind. Goodbye,” Loki replied, turning to leave the small examination room, moving down the hall to the exit. He thought about whether he should pick up some lunch on the way back home. There was a delightful bakery that carried some traditional Aesir pastries. That might be nice to pick up, perhaps an after dinner treat.

Loki had dismissed the idea by the time he reached the doors to the hospital. No, he couldn’t dawdle. His brother would already be worried sick about him. No need to risk Thor worrying himself into a panic. _Possibly causing injury to himself,_ Loki thought as he thought about how violent his brother’s fits had become lately. Glancing at his wrapped wrist, Loki cringed. No, he needed to return home as soon as he could.

Exiting the hospital, Loki quickened his pace slightly.

_*_

Loki hit the ground hard, stars bursting in his vision as pain briefly overwhelmed him. He could taste blood in his mouth and the smell of it filled his nose. For a moment, the trickster was dazed and he fought to clear his head.

He heard Thor’s solid footsteps stumble into the main area of their home. Thunder crashed outside and Loki faintly heard his brother cry in distress. The trickster immediately pushed all thought of his discomfort away and pushed himself to his feet.

“Thor!?” he yelled as he ran into the next room. The god of thunder had been experiencing another panic episode. As he had done in the past, Loki tried to hold Thor in a tight embrace. It had worked wonders when his brother was suffering from exhaustion.

Only now, it seemed to make the panic worse and Thor had fought against his brother, his eyes wide and wild. A lucky punch had caught Loki in the face, sending him to the ground, and then Thor bolted.

As he ran into the main room, Loki dreaded what he might see. The way his brother had yelled, he expected to see blood, probably a lot of it.

No gruesome sight greeted him when he entered the room, much to his surprise. Loki stopped and stared at his brother standing in the middle of the room, his large hands pressed tightly over his ears. He was sobbing, tears and sweat soaking his face. Loki stood frozen, staring at his brother, unsure what to do. The trickster didn’t know how to deal with his brother when he was in this state. Everything he tried seemed to make things worse. Loki’s eyes briefly drifted to the front door, the urge to run suddenly creeping up on him. This had become too hard, too domestic. It would be so easy to just walk out, leave, and never look back.

Thor cried again when there was another rumble of thunder, drawing Loki’s attention back to him. The trickster tilted his head, debating for a moment. Then, he cautiously moved closer to Thor, trying to figure out what he should do or say. Physical contact made things worse, so perhaps it would be best to try speaking with his brother. Even if Thor didn’t respond to him, maybe just the sound of a familiar voice would calm him.

“Thor? What’s the matter?” Loki asked, carefully moving around so that he stood in front of his brother. Thor was shaking from head to toe, his eye clenched shut.

“It’s so loud,” he cried, panting as though unable to breathe. “I can’t…I can’t…”

He fell heavily to his knees.

“Thor,” Loki cried in concern as he knelt in front of his brother. Thor was still mumbling about it being loud, seemingly unaware of his brother. His breath was coming in rapid gasps and he suddenly dropped his hands, clutching his chest, his face twisting into a grimace of pain.

“What’s loud?” Loki asked, looking around for the source of Thor’s distress. It was completely silent in their house. There was the sound of the storm outside, of course, but that couldn’t be what was bothering Thor. Could it? What in all the realms was Loki supposed to do about—

“The screams,” Thor sobbed. “Their screams. The mad titan slaughtered our people. They screamed for help. I couldn’t…I couldn’t…”

Thor let out another cry when a loud rumble of thunder sounded outside. Loki looked over to the windows before turning his attention back to his brother. Thor’s thoughts didn’t often make sense when he was in a panicked state and the trickster was still trying to figure out how to decipher them.

“I can-I can hear it. The metal screeching. The ship is breaking apart. It’s breaking apart,” he continued to pant, barely coherent anymore. “I can feel your body, in my arms…so cold…Loki…Loki…”

Thor dropped his head and wept softly, brokenly.

“Thor…”

“Loki. Loki,” Thor continued to sob his brother’s name, unaware the one he wept for was right in front of him.

“Thor, open your eye. I’m right here,” Loki stated, lowering his voice. “I’m here.”

The god of thunder wrapped his arms around his midsection, dropping his head, still weeping in despair. Loki placed a hand on his shoulder, calling his brother’s name again. Thor didn’t respond. The trickster couldn’t reach his brother and it worried him. _How do I pull him out of this? I don’t even know what **this** is._

“So loud…so loud…” Thor continued to weep, his voice barely more than a whisper. “It hurts.”

Unsure what else to do, Loki gently put his own hands over Thor’s ears. The god of thunder flinched, letting out a whimper, but some of the tension seemed to leave his body.

“Come back to me,” Loki whispered. He leaned forward, resting his brow against Thor’s. The trickster closed his eyes. _Hear me, brother. Hear my words and know I am here with you. You are not alone._

“Come back to me,” Loki said again, calmly, surely. His hands pulsed faintly with soft green light. Conjuring up an old spell from his childhood, Loki called up a sense of calmness. It was something he used to use when he was being pursued, either in games or by bullies. Loki could induce a sense of stupor, relaxing his pursuers so much they would often just lie down and stare up at the sky. Over the years, he’d learned to temper the effect as well as intensify it. Loki had eventually grown bored and stopped using it in favor of more effective and powerful spells.

Now, he was hoping this simple child’s spell could be of some aid to his brother.

_You are stronger than what you fear, Thor. You are strong enough to come out of this state. Please, fight. Fight like you have your entire life._

He could feel Thor’s body violently trembling, could hear the way he panted for breath. Deep down, the trickster was scared. He wasn’t sure what was going on, what was causing these fits, but he buried those fears deep. Right now, he needed to bring Thor out of this state. He needed to fix this. Loki needed his brother back.

“Come back to me.”

_Do not leave me again. Please, Thor._

It was both a plea and a prayer. Loki didn’t know what he was doing, didn’t know if this would work, but it was all he could think to do. Long ago, Frigga had taught him to trust himself and his instincts. While Loki took a little too much from that particular lesson, often to the point of arrogance, right now it was all he could rely on. His instincts were telling him to be calm and patient, so Loki was.

“Come back to me,” the trickster urged softly.

_Stay, brother. Stay with me._

The storm was starting to let up outside, but Loki paid it no heed. His attention was solely on his brother. He could figure out everything else later. Thor was his immediate concern, making sure he was okay.

A sudden warm feeling made Loki open his eyes briefly. Thor had raised his hands up to cover Loki’s where they rested over his ears, holding them there. His breathing was a little easier, a little steadier. Tears were still running down his cheeks, but he appeared to be calming. His eye was still shut, and he kept his brow pressed against Loki’s. Allowing himself a small grin, Loki closed his eyes again.

They remained there for a long period of time. Eventually, Thor dropped his hands from Loki’s. His eye fluttered open, though it was half-lidded, and exhaustion was clearly read in his face. He blinked a couple times, his eye traveling slowly up to Loki’s face.

“Loki?” he murmured. “Brother?”

“Yes, it is I,” Loki told him. Thor yawned and his eye drooped a little more.

“I’m…very tired,” Thor mumbled, sniffling and rubbing his eye.

“Then sleep,” Loki said. “I shall be here when you awaken.”

Thor nodded and leaned against his brother’s chest, pressing his ear to the trickster’s heart. He curled up tightly and closed his eye. Loki wrapped his thin arms around his brother’s form, pleased to feel the tremors had subsided.

He held Thor for a time, waiting to see if he would awaken in the same state. However, the god of thunder merely rested against him. Once he was certain Thor was asleep, Loki adjusted his grip on his brother and rose to his feet, grimacing a little at the ache in his injured wrist. With Thor held securely in his arms, Loki walked to the bedroom and used his magic to switch on the lights.

The bed hadn’t been made as the day had started with Thor experiencing a panic episode. Things had devolved from there and it proved to be one of their more trying days. Tomorrow would be easier. It couldn’t be worse.

Gently laying Thor on the large mattress, Loki pulled the covers up on his sleeping brother. Thor’s eye fluttered and he opened it. Looking around the room, Thor’s gaze fell on Loki, who smiled faintly.

“Loki?”

“Go back to sleep, Thor,” Loki encouraged softly. The god of thunder’s gaze wandered down to Loki’s wrist and he furrowed his brow. Reaching out, Thor gently brushed his fingers over the wrapping.

“Did I hurt you, brother?” Thor asked. There was a smallness in his tone that suggested he feared Loki’s response. The trickster shook his head.

“No,” Loki lied easily. He held up his wrapped wrist. “The result of an unfortunate accident, I’m afraid. That will teach me not to do peasants’ work.”

Thor went to push himself up on his elbows, stopped only by Loki’s hand on his chest. “It has been a very long day, brother. Please, go to sleep. You will feel better in the morning.”

Thor closed his eye. “You always say that, but it never comes to pass.”

“Well, I am the god of lies. I can hardly be blamed for such things,” Loki quipped. A faint smile briefly danced across Thor’s lips, gone faster than it had appeared. The god of thunder closed his eye and pulled the blankets tighter around him. Loki stood from the bed, and moved over to the closet, reaching to a set of drawers where he kept his night clothes. Pulling them out, he moved out into the hall and made his way to the washroom.

Entering the small, well-lit room, Loki closed the door behind him. He slowly let out his breath, his eyes welling up as he leaned against the door and took a moment for himself. His hands were shaking slightly and suddenly, Loki felt incredibly worn out.

Manifesting a dagger, Loki placed it on the sink. He never went anywhere without a weapon, not even in his own house. He conjured up a quick spell, forming a shield around his wrapped wrist in order to keep it dry.

Turning on the shower, Loki stepped into the stream of hot water, closing his eyes as he lifted his face to it. The cascade of liquid rolled over his face and down his back, releasing the pent-up tension he kept in his shoulders. Turning away from the stream, Loki grabbed the soap and began cleaning himself.

Every night before going to sleep, Loki took a long shower. It let him wash away the troubles of the day and construct his mask of nonchalance. Something about the water allowed him to believe his own lie: that everything was fine. Everything was under control and perfectly fine. His brother was healed. Thor was alive and he was fine, or he would be soon.

Loki turned his face back to the water. _Yes, Thor is well. He is healing swiftly, as he always does. Soon everything will be back to normal._

_Be wary of believing your own untruths, my son._

Loki turned his face away from the water, startled. He could have sworn he heard their mother’s voice, whispering softly in his ear. Turning off the shower head, Loki frowned and listened closely to the stillness of the night.

After a moment, Loki stepped out of the tub and grabbed his towel from the rack. Quickly toweling himself dry, he grabbed his night clothes and threw them on. Drawing in a deep breath and letting it out, Loki pulled open the door and stepped out into the dark hall. He padded down the hall to the bedroom door, which he had left opened a crack.

“I thought I told you to sleep,” Loki gently chided as he stepped inside the room.

“I’m not tired,” Thor lied around a yawn. Loki smirked as he tossed his clothes in the laundry basket.

“You’re truly terrible at lying, Thor,” Loki pointed out.

He moved around the bed to his side, climbing under the covers. Thor inched closer to him and Loki reached out, wrapping an arm around his brother. As Thor curled up against him and got comfortable, Loki ran his fingers through his brother’s short hair, allowing his mind to wander, as he did every night. He hadn’t gotten around to ordering Thor’s bed, mostly due to his brother’s new panic episodes. Perhaps it was for the best as Loki didn’t know if Thor would be comfortable sleeping in his own bed just yet.

Of course, Loki wasn’t sure if he himself was ready for that. His brother had only just returned after being gone for a number of years. Loki still sometimes feared it was all some cruel dream or his mind playing tricks on him. Being able to physically feel Thor, to hear him, was reassuring. Loki didn’t want to lose that reassurance, something he had trouble admitting even to himself. He cleared his throat and tightened his grip around Thor a little.

The sound of sniffling drew Loki’s attention to his brother. There were tears streaming down Thor’s face and he was trying to hide that he was crying.

“Thor? What’s wrong? Are you in pain?” Loki asked, searching for the cause of his brother’s tears. Thor shook his head, roughly wiping away his tears.

“No, I am all right,” Thor told him, his voice wobbling with each word.

“Why are you weeping?”

“I’m not weeping, Loki,” Thor muttered, his voice wobbling.

Loki sighed and continued holding his brother. Thor sometimes had these fits as well, where he would start crying softly. Whenever Loki tried to ask what was bothering him, Thor would come up with an evasive response or flat out lie and stubbornly refuse to tell his brother what was bothering him.

Loki kept running his fingers through Thor’s hair, allowing his brother to cry on his shoulder. He started humming softly, an old Asgardian lullaby, one Frigga used to sing to them when they were mere boys. It was one Loki sometimes hummed to himself, usually when he was thinking over some particularly vexing quandary.

“That song,” Thor said, drawing Loki’s attention. The god of thunder was staring at him, curious. “I know that song.”

Loki was mildly embarrassed. He hadn’t realized he’d been humming loud enough for Thor to hear him. The trickster was not one who enjoyed music with others.

“It’s an old lullaby,” Loki told him, feeling color rise to his cheeks. “Surely you remember Mother singing it to us.”

Thor nodded. “I sang it to you, as well.”

Loki frowned, his nose crinkling slightly. “Did you? I’m afraid I do not remember.”

Thor shook his head. “You wouldn’t. You were very sick at the time. It was when you had been poisoned, when Mother and Father were on a diplomatic errand.”

“Ah yes. You took care of me for more than a week, I remember,” Loki recalled, smiling a little. “The healers were rather frustrated with your refusal to let them see to me.”

Thor smiled softly. “It had been too close a call. I fear it brought out my stubbornness.”

The god of thunder scrubbed at his tears. “I did a better job protecting you when I was a child.”

More tears ran down his cheeks and his lower lip trembled. Loki swallowed and thought about how to bring Thor out of this state of self-recrimination.

“You mentioned you sang that lullaby?”

Thor cleared his throat and scrubbed at his tears again, unable to meet Loki’s gaze.

“There was one night, shortly after Eir had administered the antidote. Your fever spiked. It was so high, higher than it had ever been, and no matter what the healers tried, it wouldn’t come down. Eir didn’t think you would last through the night.”

More tears ran down Thor’s face and he let out a quiet sob. “She…she told me to ready myself to say goodbye to you. I was…I was so scared. I thought I was going to lose you and the feeling of helplessness tormented me.”

Loki shushed him when he started getting agitated. “It is all right. It is in the past. I still live. Perhaps you should have been a healer, Thor. You may have missed your true calling.”

To the trickster’s great relief, Thor laughed shakily. He still held tightly to Loki, but he appeared to settle a little. Clearing his throat, Thor took a deep breath.

“I was holding you and you felt so still in my arms, so still and so warm,” Thor continued, his eye fixed on the embroidery in Loki’s nightclothes. “I’ll never forget how small you looked. I urged you to fight, to come back to us, but you didn’t respond.”

_Perhaps because I was unconscious,_ Loki thought snarkily, but bit his tongue. Thor’s gaze was distant, as though lost in memory, but otherwise he seemed fine.

“I decided to try singing to you, different songs, in the hope of soothing you. When I sang that lullaby, I felt you relax more. So I kept singing it. I sang and I prayed to the gods,” Thor told him. “When the sun rose, you still lived. And for the first time since the fever developed, you awoke.”

Loki chuckled softly. Most of his memories of that incident were understandably fuzzy. He didn’t remember the night Thor spoke of, but he did vaguely remember awakening in Thor’s arms. His brother’s voice had been raspy and Thor could barely speak. It was just a peculiar thing Loki had noticed. He’d still been much too weak to really think about it.

“I faintly remember that day. Was that why you sounded so awful?”

Thor smiled briefly and nodded. “If I remember correctly, when I tried to continue singing, you hit me in the face and grumbled, ‘Silence, oaf.’ That gave me hope that you were on the mend.”

Loki snickered and Thor shared in his mirth. After a moment, they quieted down. Loki watched his brother, waiting for him to continue.

Thor swallowed, a hint of sadness crossing his face. “I haven’t heard that lullaby for ages. I thought about it sometimes throughout the years. I sang it only once again, the night before the final battle against the mad titan. I looked up at the stars and imagined you looking at them as well. I sang the lullaby in the hopes it would reach you, wherever your soul dwelt, to let you know I still thought of you and that I would find you, in this world or the next.”

For some reason, Loki felt his eyes well up at Thor’s statement. It still warmed his heart to know his brother had never stopped thinking of him. That Thor had still been his brother even when they were separated. His brother was still willing to move heaven and earth for the trickster, even when he thought him dead. Loki had never really appreciated how much Thor cared about him, but he’d come to realize that had been a mistake on his part.

“Of course, I assumed I would fall in battle and so I fully expected to reunite in Valhalla,” Thor added dryly. “I should have realized you would have survived.”

Loki grinned and shrugged. “What can I say? Doing the unexpected is what I do.”

Thor smiled a little, though it was a faint melancholy smile. “I’m glad for that. I am happy you lived, brother. I am happy to have you here.”

Loki rolled away, reaching for the small bedside table on his side. Thor frowned and looked over at him.

“Brother? What are you doing?”

The trickster fumbled around a bit and then laughed triumphantly when he managed to grab ahold of the object he’d been reaching for. He held up his phone.

“If you could repeat what you just said, please,” Loki requested. “I’d like to record it for posterity.”

Thor gave him a very dry look and Loki smirked, leaning back and putting the phone back on the table.

“I am sorry you had to find me on the battlefield.”

Loki froze, his eyes widening slightly. _Please do not remind me of that moment,_ he thought. Loki hadn’t thought much on that last battle, when he’d lost Thor, and thankfully Thor hadn’t brought it up often. The trickster had hoped they would never speak of it. Loki would have preferred to forget it entirely.

Loki briefly closed his eyes, letting out the breath he’d been holding. Turning his eyes back to Thor, he could see the pain deep within Thor’s eye.

“I’m glad it was you who found me, for I would not trade those last moments we had for anything in the world, but I know the pain it caused you,” Thor continued. Loki let out a strangled chuckle, feeling as though he’d been punched in the chest.

“It’s fine, Thor. It was better I was the one who found you rather than one of your mortal friends. At least I was able to do something other than weep and bemoan the fates.”

Thor studied him and there was a strange wisdom in his eye, one that made Loki feel uncomfortable. As if his brother could suddenly read his thoughts and see his memories.

“But it hurt you. I know you will deny it and perhaps you believe it didn’t, but I do remember those moments Loki. I could see the pain in your face,” Thor pointed out. “I am sorry you experienced such pain and that I had some indirect hand in causing it.”

Loki opened his mouth and then closed it again, unsure how to respond to such an apology. He wasn’t used to his brother being so vulnerable and he definitely wasn’t used to Thor being so openly perceptive. Thor rested his head against Loki’s shoulder, sadness once again clearly read in his expression.

The dark-haired god frowned, wondering if he should bring up the question that had been haunting him ever since his brother fell in battle. He didn’t even know why. It didn’t matter. Especially not now, not when Thor had returned. And yet it still bothered Loki.

“Thor?” Loki started cautiously. Thor turned his head so he was looking up at his brother. “May I ask you a question? About that last battle?”

“Of course, brother. You can ask me anything you like.”

Loki didn’t even need to ask him to be truthful. Thor was, quite simply, a terrible liar. To the point where he often didn’t even try to do so.

“Were you in a great deal of pain when I found you?” Loki asked. Thor tilted his head, obviously confused by the question.

“Loki, I will not allow you to torture yourself,” Thor warned him. “Why would you ask me such a thing?”

“I am not torturing myself, Thor. There is a reason why I am asking you this question,” Loki replied, snippily, frustration flaring up in his chest. Thor sighed and nodded.

“Yes. I was in a great deal of pain,” Thor admitted reluctantly. “It was a hard battle and Thanos had inflicted a great many wounds upon me.”

_Remind me again, Mr. Odinson. Who was Thor grieving?_ Ross’ sneering face came unbidden to Loki’s memory. The memory of Thor’s broken back and limbs, all the blood, the way he trembled in pain, next came to Loki’s mind. A warm gentle hand on his face drew Loki’s attention to his brother.

“Hey, don’t do that,” Thor whispered. “I’m already broken. Do not follow in my footsteps. You are Loki. Such things do not bother you.”

Loki gently pushed his hand away. “You’re not broken, brother. And I’m not one to follow in anyone’s footsteps.”

Thor laughed softly. “Was that all you wished to ask me?”

“Did I…were my efforts to numb the pain helpful?”

Loki hated how small his voice sounded, almost like a child’s. Yet it was something he was wondering about and he could never leave an itch unscratched. He simply needed to know. He didn’t particularly care about the answer, or so he told himself. Loki just needed an answer.

Thor wrapped his arms around his brother, embracing him. “Yes, brother. You helped a great deal. I experienced no pain in my last moments.”

Loki felt a small bit of annoyance when he sensed the lie in the last declaration. However, the other two were truthful. Surprisingly, it made the trickster feel…better. He briefly buried his face in his brother’s neck, taking comfort in Thor’s warmth.

“I have one more question, Thor,” Loki stated hesitantly. Thor released him from the embrace and looked to him, patiently waiting. Loki thought about how to phrase the question. He wasn’t sure if it was a question Thor could answer.

“The Wakandan healers surmised that you had…you had succumbed to massive blood loss,” Loki began. “There was a great deal of internal bleeding, unsurprisingly. Their imaging showed there had been a lot of blood in your lungs. Towards the end, when you were…just before you left this world for the next, you were having great difficulty breathing. Do you remember?”

Thor frowned and looked away, obviously thinking. After a moment, he looked back to his brother and nodded.

“A little, vaguely,” Thor told him. Loki’s heart sank. His brother might not be able to answer his question. It wasn’t devastating, more disappointing than anything else.

“The thing I remember most was you holding me,” Thor continued. “When it started to become difficult to breathe, I was briefly afraid, for I knew we were about to be separated and I would never see you again. I worried that I had just dreamed your return. But then, I felt your heartbeat and I heard your words, you were so calm.”

Thor smiled faintly for the briefest moment, a genuine smile. “You were there.”

Loki’s eyes welled up again and he tried to hide it from Thor. “You were not afraid in those last moments? You were not distressed?”

Thor shook his head. “No, brother. I was at peace. I left feeling safe.”

The god of thunder was quiet for a moment. He gently squeezed Loki’s hand. “Thank you for that, Loki.”

Loki felt tears slipping down his cheeks and cleared his throat, attempting to regain his composure. It hadn’t been a lie. Thor was telling the truth. It felt like an enormous weight had been lifted off Loki. He hadn’t realized just how much that had been bothering him. Loki suddenly felt lighter than he had in quite some time. He could feel Thor looking at him.

“I’m sorry, brother. I did not mean to upset you,” Thor said. The dark-haired god quickly swiped away his tears, frowning and shaking his head.

“No,” Loki paused and cleared his throat when his voice wobbled. “No, you did not. I’m relieved you were at peace during those last moments. I feared that was not the case.”

“Oh,” Thor said softly, yawning. “Then I’m glad I could put your mind at ease.”

_I wish I could do the same for you, brother,_ Loki thought as he wrapped his arms around Thor again. He was determined to ensure his brother’s sleep was peaceful this night. He would physically battle Thor’s nightmares and memories if that’s what it took.

“Sleep, brother,” Loki urged. “You need your rest.”

“As do you,” Thor mumbled, obviously half-awake. Loki grinned and put his head on the pillow, closing his eyes, waiting. For a few moments, he listened to his brother’s breathing as it evened out and fell into a rhythm that Loki recognized as sleeping. The trickster opened his eyes again and looked over at his brother.

“Thor?” he whispered. Thor shifted in his sleep, but didn’t respond. Loki found his hand and watched his face.

“Brother, I do not know what is afflicting you, but I know you are scared. You fear there is no cure and this is how it will always be. But I won’t stop looking. I swear to you, Thor. I will read every last book in existence if that’s what it takes. I won’t stop until we find a cure.”

Loki paused and studied his brother’s face. Sometimes, when he awoke, unreasonably early in the morning, he would briefly see Thor as he had been in the aftermath of that battle. Bloodied and beaten. It frightened him, even though he didn’t have visions. That was Thor’s gift.

_Be wary of believing your own untruths, my son._

That was something Frigga used to tell him in his youth. When Loki was being just a bit too arrogant. It was something he should have paid more heed to. Gently running a hand over Thor’s short hair, Loki felt a faint pang of regret. He felt somewhat responsible for Thor’s current state (though his brother really shouldn’t have jumped to conclusions). Still, Loki had contributed to the entire hellish ordeal Thor went through.

Gently kissing his brother’s brow, Loki continued running his hand over his hair. “Even if there is no answer or no cure, we shall figure out how to live. We will create a new normal, if that’s what we must do. This will not defeat you, Thor, I promise. I will stay and help you in whatever way you need.”

Loki was surprised to find he actually meant that. A brief wave of fear came over him. He had always enjoyed his freedom, the ability to walk away from anything and everything. If something was boring, he left. If it was bothersome, he shed it. A life free of responsibility was comfortable for Loki. Freedom was important to him. The trickster needed to be free.

And yet…as he looked at his brother, who was in such a vulnerable state at the moment, Loki realized he was willing to sacrifice that freedom, at least temporarily. He was willing to stay here, to take care of his brother, to take on such responsibilities. For one of the first times ever, Loki was willing to sacrifice the things he wanted. He had been willing to give his life to save Thor. Now he was willing to give up his freedom to help him heal.

Loki smirked. _Not even I predicted that_ , he thought with a soft chuckle. Resting his head on the pillow next to Thor, Loki kept his arm wrapped around his brother. It would take a while to get used to this new role, but Loki was willing to be patient.

Just before dawn, Thor experienced an intense nightmare. Loki was awoken by his shouts and thrashing. He carefully took ahold of Thor’s wrists, not restraining him but making sure he couldn’t hurt himself or Loki. Eventually Thor’s eye snapped open and his face crumpled as he wept, horrified by the images that had invaded his sleep.

Loki held him close, allowing Thor to cling to him. The god of thunder was shaking violently again, and he buried his face in Loki’s shirt. The trickster comforted his brother and Thor eventually fell back to sleep in Loki’s arms. Leaning back against the headboard, Loki closed his eyes. It would be difficult, as their road often was, but Loki felt like he could get used to this. Creating a new normal wasn’t difficult, especially when one wasn’t alone.

_I’m here, brother,_ Loki thought. _I’ll stay._

**

Loki’s eyes snapped open when he heard his brother’s loud cry. He immediately sat upright and looked over to Thor, who was rigid with pain. Sweat was pouring off him and his eye was clenched shut. Loki swiftly reached over to the bedside table and switched on the lamp. If anything, the better lighting made his brother look worse. Thor let out another shout and there was a bright flash as lightning shot out of his fingertips.

The dark-haired god barely glanced at the wall, waving his hand and sending a blast of frost to extinguish whatever flames might ignite.

“Thor?” Loki spoke calmly, though his own heart was hammering. Thor didn’t open his eye. His breathing was starting to sound labored, as if he were having difficulty. Noticing smoke, Loki swiftly lifted one of his brother’s hands. His fingertips looked horribly burned. _His lightning is physically harming him. That has never happened before,_ Loki thought.

A horrible thought occurred to Loki. Jane Foster had been very ill when afflicted with the aether, to the point where she had very nearly died. It had sapped her of nearly all her strength, almost taking her life. It had worked swiftly because she had been a vessel for it.

Thor had mere fragments in him, perhaps of all the stones. The affects would have taken much longer to manifest, gradually chipping away at his strength and defenses, compromising his hearty immune system. _And it was just our luck that we journeyed to another country right before a pandemic hit,_ Loki thought. For the most part, the Aesir were not afflicted with Midgardian ailments. However, over the years, they had found there were a few Midgardian viruses that did afflict the Aesir. The Aesir almost always exhibited different symptoms than mortals. And they were usually much more severe.

Hearing a sizzling sound, Loki glanced to his brother’s hands. He could see lightning starting to light up Thor’s veins just below his flesh. It was noticeably dimmer than it usually was. Placing a hand on his brow, Loki could feel the rising fever and just as concerning, he could feel his lightning weakening. Thor was dying! His brother was dying and Loki had nothing to help him.

_No, that’s not true. I’m never without tools. It’s just a matter of figuring out how to use them._

An idea came to Loki, a risky one. Loki sighed, running a hand through his hair. This was going to be very unpleasant for him. _I just had to swear that damn oath to mother. Norns,_ he thought irritably.

“You owe me for this, Thor,” Loki grumbled as he pushed up his sleeves. Reaching deep within himself to the very core of his magic, Loki conjured his seidr. Placing one hand on Thor’s chest, over the scars from the infinity stones, and the other on his head, Loki started pouring his seidr into his brother. Using his magic, Loki sent it weaving around Thor’s spirit and lightning, searching for the source of his brother’s agony.

There were not many fragments, perhaps a little under twenty, but their size made them difficult to pin down. Loki was determined and looked for them one by one. Whenever he would find a fragment, he would wrap it in seidr, which would neutralize the fragment until they could remove it. It took him hours to hunt down every last miniscule fragment, but the trickster managed. He wove the threads of his seidr together, creating a web connecting all the stone fragments. It would make it easier for Eir to remove them once they returned home, whenever that would be.

“Loki?”

He let out a snarl when he felt the unnatural heat of the virus, which still threatened Thor’s health and life. He had no idea when he and Thor would have been exposed to it, but somehow, they had been. Loki’s immune system had likely made quick work of it. Thor’s would have done the same, if those damn parasitic fragments hadn’t been breaking it down. Sending out more of his seidr, he could feel it boosting Thor’s immune response, helping his brother attack the virus.

“Loki, stop!”

He continued pouring more seidr into his brother’s system, much more than he could afford to lose. But they weren’t in any danger. No enemy was lurking in the shadows. Whatever he lost, Loki could regain with rest.

“Brother, please. You’ve given me enough. Please, you’re hurting yourself.”

He could distantly hear his brother pleading with him to stop, but Loki ignored him. If he stopped too soon, they risked Thor relapsing. With the amount of seidr Loki had already given him, the trickster would not have the strength to take care of him. This was his brother’s only chance and he needed to see it through.

“Loki, I’m begging you, do not do this.”

His lightning was still a little chaotic, still causing damage to him albeit not nearly as much. However, that could change. Loki inwardly sighed. He’d have to bind it for a short while, just long enough for Thor’s body to finish fighting off the lingering effects of the stones and the virus. Loki was almost certainly going to be unconscious for a few days, so hopefully Thor would be able to stay out of trouble for that long. _Hopefully._

Loki reached for more seidr, only to find it was mostly gone. He’d used almost all of it. His heart sank when he realized what he had left was the magic his mother had given him ages ago. A small store he kept to himself, a part of Frigga he still carried with him. The last connection he had to his mother. Loki’s eyes watered and he sighed, reaching for it.

A warm hand on his face stopped him. Loki blearily opened his eyes, his vision swimming and his head pounding. He could feel himself swaying, not able to sit up on his own.

“Brother, speak to me.”

Blinking a couple times, he could just make out Thor’s blurry form. Swallowing, Loki attempted to lift his arm but thought better of it.

“Oh Loki, what did you do?”

“Need,” Loki paused and licked his lips, trying to make his thoughts cooperate. “Need to bind your lightning. Harming you.”

“No, brother. You’ve done enough. More than enough, too much,” Thor insisted. Loki attempted to raise his arm. The first couple tries, he failed miserably. Finally, he managed to put his hand on Thor’s wrist, trying and failing to push his hand away.

“Have to. The fragments and the virus, they interfered with your ability to control lightning. I…I have to bind it, so you will be safe. Do…do not worry. It is only…temporary.”

Loki’s vision was still swimming, but he could just make out the pain in his brother’s expression. Thor hugged him gently, holding Loki against his chest and stroking his long hair.

“Brother, I can control my lightning. I swear to you,” Thor told him, a hint of desperation in his voice. Loki frowned, unable to sense if his brother was lying or not. His body was screaming at him to stop while his stubbornness was telling him he needed to finish what he had started.

“Liar,” Loki mumbled, again reaching for that last bit of healing magic, Frigga’s magic, that he had left.

Thor held up his hand in front of him, allowing lightning to weave in and out between his fingers, perfectly controlled. Loki frowned, swaying even more. Only Thor’s steady grip kept him upright.

“Oh,” Loki managed to say before he slumped forward, consciousness fleeing him.

_*_

The gentle sound of rain pattering on the roof was the first thing he was aware of. Inhaling deeply, doing a mental check of himself, Loki was pleased to find his seidr was almost completely restored. He allowed his eyes to open, noticing that he was lying in bed under the covers. The pillows next to him were rumpled, the pillowcases wrinkled, obviously where his brother had been resting.

Allowing his eyes to roam about the room, Loki soon spotted his brother’s strong back. Thor was standing at the windows, looking out. It looked like his arms were crossed over his chest. Loki recognized that stance. His brother was thinking, and his thoughts were likely troubled. The trickster sighed and pushed back the covers, rising to his feet. Taking a moment to check his balance, Loki moved forward and stood at Thor’s side, hands clasped behind his back. He followed his brother’s gaze outside, watching the dreary day.

“How are you feeling?” Thor asked quietly.

“Better,” Loki answered, glancing over to his brother. “You?”

“The same,” Thor replied. “The symptoms of the illness have ceased and I’m experiencing no more pain.”

“That is good,” Loki said with a slight grin. “How long did I sleep?”

Thor glanced up at the sky. “It’s morning, so a little more than two days.”

“Ah,” Loki turned his attention back to the windows. “Shorter than I would have expected.”

They stood together in an easy silence, just watching the rainstorm outside. Loki remembered at one time, standing in such a position would have triggered a flashback for Thor. He would remember that last day on the ship, moments before Thanos attacked them. Such a flashback would often lead to debilitating panic. Since Thor had been managing his anxiety and PTSD, standing in such a position was easy once again and something they did frequently.

“Are you feeling all right?” Loki asked, glancing over at his brother. Thor’s expression was unreadable and that bothered the dark-haired god. Normally, he could read his brother like a book. Scowling, Loki looked back out the window.

“If you want me to apologize for my actions, you will be waiting for—”

“Thank you.”

Loki’s mouth snapped shut with an audible click and he stared at his brother, stunned. Of all the things he expected Thor to say, **_that_** certainly wasn’t one of them.

“I beg your pardon?”

“Thank you,” Thor repeated. Loki squinted at him.

“Are you certain you’re feeling all right? I could swear you’re thanking me.”

Thor’s nose crinkled as he frowned. “What are you talking about? I thank you all the time. You were complaining about it just last week.”

“You thank me for random meaningless things. You never thank me for doing things you consider dangerous or reckless,” Loki pointed out. Thor sighed and looked back to the window.

“I will not lie, I was angry the first day you slept,” Thor began carefully. “It…hurts, when you put yourself at risk. But your decisions are your own, Loki. I do not wish to lose you, I would not heal from such a loss, but I recognize your right to decide your actions. And I respect you, brother. You have changed much over the years and perhaps you still are reckless at times, but you are also clever. You are not one who would throw their life away on a whim. So, I believe you did what you had to do. You willingly took that risk in order to save my life. Thank you.”

Loki stared at him, stunned. After a moment, he cleared his throat and looked out the window.

“You’re welcome,” he said hesitantly. For a while, they stood in an easy silence, just staring out the window.

“Do I get another medal?” Loki asked. Thor side-eyed him and Loki smirked. He did so enjoy teasing his brother.

After a while, they both decided to seek out some breakfast. Thor went through their food, picking out some ingredients while Loki prepared a kettle, watching his brother work. For a time, they worked in silence.

“Is something on your mind, Thor?” Loki asked, noticing Thor focused intently on the skillet. Thor enjoyed talking when he cooked, even more upbeat and annoyingly happy than he usually was. It was why Loki often avoided the kitchen while his brother was preparing their meals. The trickster could only take so much cheerfulness.

This silence was unnatural and it told Loki that Thor’s thoughts were troubled. Something he undoubtedly wanted to speak of.

Thor glanced up from the skillet briefly and then looked back to the food he was preparing. He appeared to be considering what to say.

“You know the oath you swore to mother?” he began. Loki raised his eyebrows, intrigued.

“Yes,” Loki replied, trying to figure out his brother’s purpose in bringing it up. They hadn’t spoken of it since they had left Stark’s manor on the island almost a month ago.

“I swore a similar oath to her,” Thor stated hesitantly. “It was when they had returned from their diplomatic errand, the one they had been on when you were poisoned.”

**

Thor sat at his brother’s bedside, dozing. His eyes snapped open when he heard the door open and he twisted around, his hand going to the dagger on his waist. A wave of relief washed over him when he saw his mother’s kind beautiful face peering in. She offered him a warm smile, her blue eyes traveling to the bed. When she saw Loki, tears welled up in her eyes.

Thor stood from his chair and moved over to the door as she entered, shutting it behind her. She smiled at him and he leaned down to kiss her cheek.

“Hello, my son,” she whispered, her eyes traveling back to Loki. “How is he?”

“He is doing well, much better than he was last week,” Thor told her. “Do not worry, mother. Loki will be fine.”

“I’m your mother. It’s my job to worry about both of you,” she replied and Thor smiled. He glanced over to the door.

“Where is father?”

“He wished to interrogate the one who made the attempt on Loki’s life. He suspects the man is from one of the lower kingdoms. There has been much unrest there lately due to the drought.”

Thor nodded, though he was a little frustrated. Loki had nearly died. Surely Odin would want to check on him first before confronting the would-be assassin. Frigga smiled knowingly at him.

“The healers have been grumbling about you,” she mentioned. “They are displeased that you are not allowing them to do their jobs and see to your brother.”

“They should have been more careful when vetting apprentices,” Thor replied testily.

“Thor,” Frigga admonished. “Do not blame the healers for this misfortune.”

Thor scowled and looked back to his brother, who was still sleeping peacefully. The god of thunder was pleased to see his breathing was easier and Loki showed no signs of discomfort. Last week, he’d experienced random bouts of pain. They were nowhere near as frightening as when he’d nearly succumbed to the poison, but they were bad enough that it left him unable to sleep. Thor had spent many late nights reading to his brother.

“He put up a good fight, Mother. Loki was able to fight off his would-be killer long enough for me to arrive,” Thor told her. “You have trained him well.”

“I have trained both of my sons well,” she replied, nodding over Thor’s shoulder. Thor glanced to where she was indicating and noticed the bag he’d brought to his brother’s room when he’d temporarily moved in to care for the dark-haired god.

“Was there not a hunt you were planning on going on, two days past?” Frigga asked.

“Yes, with the warriors Three. But I could not leave my brother,” Thor replied, shuffling his feet a bit. Truth be told, he hadn’t realized how much time had passed. He’d sent word to his friends that he would be unable to accompany them, shortly after Loki’s condition started to improve. Thor had also ordered that Loki not be disturbed, for he needed his rest in order to recover.

“You have taken good care of your brother, Thor. I’m proud of you,” Frigga stated. “I fear Loki’s path will not be an easy one for him to travel. I worry for him.”

Thor looked back to her, noticing the sadness in her eyes. She looked on the verge of tears again and Thor was suddenly afraid. He knew his mother had many gifts and perhaps could see into the future. Looking back to Loki, Thor felt his heart twist painfully in his chest at the thought of his brother coming to harm. His own sleep had been troubled of late and Thor had come to realize…Loki was likely to outlive him. Taking his mother’s hand in his, Thor looked her in the eye.

“I swear to you, as long as there is breath in my body, I will protect my brother. I will shield him from harm. If his road is to be a difficult one, it is one he shall not walk alone. I will protect Loki until my dying breath, mother,” Thor swore to her. “He is my brother, now and always.”

Frigga smiled though Thor thought he saw a hint of concern flash across her eyes. She squeezed his hand.

“Thank you, my son,” she said gratefully. Then she turned and made her way to Loki’s bedside, sitting lightly upon the mattress. Running her fingers through his dark hair, Frigga smiled as she looked at her son. His eyes fluttered as he woke up. When Loki saw his mother, a genuine grin danced across his lips.

“Mother,” he greeted. She smiled and fussed over him a bit.

Thor smiled as he watched them. _I will protect Loki with my life, until my last breath,_ he thought, vowing to never forget that oath. He would protect his brother from harm, no matter what.

**

Loki raised his eyebrows slightly as Thor finished his tale. The kettle started whistling and the trickster took it off the burner, bringing it to the table where two mugs were waiting. The god of thunder brought over two plates filled with food, placing one in front of Loki’s place and the other at his spot at the table.

“I believe you have done better in keeping your oath to Mother,” Thor mentioned, watching as Loki poured hot water in the two large mugs. The trickster sat down across from his brother, preparing his tea.

“Well, I am better at most things,” Loki replied with a wicked smirk. Thor gave him a very dry look, which made the trickster chuckle. After a moment, Thor shared in his laughter. He turned his attention to the food on his plate, moving it around a bit. Loki turned his attention to his own breakfast.

“Have you given any thought to returning to New Asgard? Now that you’re on the mend, we could conceivably go home,” Loki mentioned. Thor shook his head.

“No. I have decided we must stay here until the sanctions are lifted, likely in a few weeks,” Thor responded. Loki stared at him.

“What happened to needing to return to your ill shieldbrother’s side and the Aesir needing us?” Loki asked. Thor shrugged as he put down his fork.

“I was acting impulsively. If I carry this virus home to New Asgard, more people may become ill. Not just at home but those who are in the same places as I,” Thor stated. “I have not been idle while you slept. I spoke with my friends as well as the advisors back home. We agreed that the wisest course of action is for the two of us to remain here for the time being. Our internet connection is very good. We shall be able to phone into conferences and speak with our people. It is not ideal, but it is what the situation requires.”

“I imagine Brunnhilde is thrilled with that decision,” Loki remarked. Thor grinned.

“Well, she would prefer to be with us, but she understands the necessity of this action,” Thor replied. “I imagine she would prefer to be in Wakanda, but the quarantine has prevented that as well.”

“How is Dr. Banner?” Loki asked. Thor sighed, a look of concern crossing his face.

“He is still very ill. I have only spoken to him briefly, for he sleeps much. However, he is in good spirits and Eir is confident that he shall recover,” Thor answered. “I plan to call him once a day, for as long as we’re here.”

“You do get so attached to mortals,” Loki teased. He glanced around at their dreary little dwelling, which was going to be their home for the next few weeks at least. It was certainly not ideal.

“Wanda has agreed to continue housesitting for us and she will take care of our cats,” Thor mentioned. “Everything is taken care of.”

“I suppose our lives are going to be rather dull for foreseeable future,” Loki said sadly. “Pity.”

Thor shrugged. “After breakfast, we can continue investigating the ley lines, if you like. We have to keep our distance from others, but seeing as how we tend to stick to untraveled paths, it shouldn’t be a problem.”

Loki grinned. “I think that is a splendid idea, brother.”

Thor smiled and turned his attention back to his breakfast. The two brothers enjoyed their meal in peace, happy to be together and ready for their next adventure.

**_The End_ **

**Author's Note:**

> There is always hope. Even when things are bleak, even when the world is a dumpsterfire, there is hope. Things will get better. They may never go back to normal, but they will get better.
> 
> Stay safe. Be well. Thank you for reading.


End file.
